When my mind is like troubled waters, all I have to do is look up and find a star. And all is calm. I think they are like pills to cure my loneliness or my worries. How I wish for more time to gaze at them, less daytime, more hours of peace.
Secretly, I hope that they are, each one of them, beings of another planet or dimension. And they would watch our daily life pass by, wondering about us, just like how I wonder about them. Probably, stars do fall in love. They might grow to love us for our silliness, our emotions which we keep to ourselves and only release into the night, and our hopeful gazes as we awe upon them.
"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." (anne frank)
"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is "Who in the world am I?"" (Alice In Wonderland)
Attached? Detached? Both sounds sad to me. And maybe I'm both. I think I fit this statement perfectly, "If you always prevent yourself from getting hurt, you will never now how to deal with the pain." The reason why I'm always stuck at one point, is probably because I have no courage to deal with the unknown, particularly new faces.
I'll gladly face up to any adrenaline pumping adventures or encounters BUT to meet new people, having to go through the long process of knowing them... Yikes. INTERACTION~ Recalling on my past experiences, I probably dread new faces cause of my childhood encounters with classmates bullying. *Geesh* I remember, at that young age of 6, I was ganged up against by a boy and a girl. They literally tormented me for that whole year :S DISGUST.
But in a good way, it helped me be who I want to be. I grow to love this solitude. Other than my small group of friends and my family, I have more time for imagining and resting. The popular "roo ra" kids in school aren't really who I aspired to be. Ironically, I was a chatter-box when a kid, constantly asking questions and getting hyper at every family outing :)
I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question. (Harun Yahya)
Someday, I'll be there. In place of these hands, will be mine.
I really am contented with my life; satisfied with my family, friends and education. But somewhere in me, it feels empty, and I am but just a mere hollow shell. So, this unknown thirst starts to boil in me and I yearn to be elsewhere, far from where I am now. Even my vivid and wonderful daydreams aren't able to engulf this feeling.
Just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it. (Unknown)
The Lunar New Year is going to be over soon. This means that our only long holidays are ending, and we'll never have another ample amount of rest in our packed schedules. I am dreading my school. Even waiting for the next episode of a nice drama feels like thousands of years to me.
Fact is, I'll never enjoy life in this way of life; in this life where I have no goals nor nothing to look forward to. Worse of all, I wish so hard for events to not arrive, such as tests and exams. "In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make." -unknown.
I think I want to hike a mountain, or live in the forest, or maybe pop and disappear like a bubble. To just, be free of time...
Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the heart. (Jon Krakauer)
Love this recent new drama. For a first, it is mainly due to the story line :) Wasn't at all attracted to the celebrities cause they weren't my bias. But I kind of liked the drama spinning round the cruel truths of the showbiz, just like how it is in the real world. Through these hateful events in life, the innocent protagonist experiences her firsts on betrayal, distrust and hate etc.
However, in the trough of her life, she meets new faces who will save her from all the hurt and agony from her previous encounters. And she meets another cruel character, who in fact will teach her to love herself and others a little more. Sincerely. Throughout the whole show, all the characters are faced with their own problems and has their little secrets. Through their interactions with one another, they will be able to see a new light and face their problems with much more courage and love.
One word, memories. Today, I spent a meaningful lunar new year catching up with my relatives. I realised that I missed every single one of them; my aunts, my uncles, my cousins and the happy times we used to spend together, when we use to gather at my granny's dingy but spacious house everyday for dinner. Now that she's moved her home, and so have all of us, our relationships distanced with it.
Still, some things never change. As my aunt and my cousin looked through the photo albums, I joined them and it seemed like we all returned to the past as we reminisced on our fond memories. My siblings and their innocence remained etched in the hearts of my relatives as I hear fascinating stories of them. My cousins were as child-like as ever and still "the three musketeers", always in action as a trio. They were always there to entertain the grown-ups and leave wide smiles on our faces.
The night life was the best as we indulge ourselves in good food, great movies and a WHOLE LOT of entertainment >.- There was a mahjong session for us kids, a poker table for the adults to gamble away some pocket money while chit-chatting and some 'live sing-and-dance' performances by our CUTE boys >.< Our goodbyes were unwilling and I am looking forward to the next meet up at another house :D
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.
When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.
There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.
Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.
You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.
Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” (Bob Marley)
I'd wanna go hiking in the forest and roam the plains with a special person
"I saw in their eyes something I was to see over and over in every part of the nation - a burning desire to go, to move, to get away, anyplace, away from anyHere. They spoke quietly of how they wanted to go someday, to move about, free and anchored, not toward something but away from something." (John Steinback)
A hollowness in my chest. I would rather die than to feel this emptiness in me. But to die isn't courage. It is to see people you love, leave you, and to not let them cry for you at all. If so, I can live with that. To stay lonely in the this darkness, for the people who care. And still, I wait in vain, for the one who understands completely, who is part of me. A soulmate
As the ship docks on an island, the villagers warmly greet the lonely traveller with open arms and broad smiles. The traveller's heart fluttered and she was captivated by these sincere hearts.
I feel like the world's luckiest duck. To be able to meet such true comrades and to waddle together through fun, laughter and sadness. I am speechless as to how much more I can thank them, for all that they have done for me on my birthday. It isn't fair! Am I even supposed to receive this much love? ♥ duckies
Wanna thank my whole class for their well wishes, and wanna thank my groupies for their love and... more LOVE. And my family for their unexpected surprise :) And my cousin for his cute conversation with my grandma about my birthday. Wanna also thank him for wishing me a happy birthday :)
As I walked home after my birthday celebration, the night sky was clear and the moon was gone. And it seemed like all the stars were present to accompany me on the last few moments of my birthday. It was rare to see stars around my place, hence, it felt special :)
"When you're living your dreams, it doesn't feel like work, but it's important to take some time away for yourself. It's good to make some time for your own company." (Jared Leto)
I want to have lots of fun on my birthday!! :D and HEY! It's FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH ;D
I wished they would sing me to sleep every night ^^
There might be some hours of loneliness. But there was something wonderful even in loneliness. At least you belonged to yourself when you were lonely. (L.M.Montgomery)
After all these years, I saw him again. Yesterday, at the interchange, while I was with my friends. Today, at the basketball court. He was his old usual self :) As I passed by the court, I noticed his childlike gaze, fixed on the basketball. And then he flashed his ever the same smile ♥ Had no choice but to continue walking home, leaving that beautiful scene behind.
Memories flashed past my mind as I smiled to myself. Remembered one particular incident; of which He kept staring at my best friend, whom he likes, and got hit by the basketball. Afterwhich his spectacles fell, and he laughed at his sillyness >.< Slowly, the reasons why I used to like him, surfaced in my mind. I think I miss those happy times, when we were close buddies, and when I could examine him closely. To not miss any details in his life.
fuuu~ ♥ I have this minty green too! but how do I apply it on as neatly as her... :/
I am currently, very bored with life. Finally managed to settle a few projects and assignments. But the fact that it has been just a tiring FIRST week, reminds me of the many more long weeks to come. And even if the weeks were to pass by quickly, it would soon mean the coming of the Final Year Exams x( SHYT!
FACE IT! I am not cut out for studying! Actually, I love learning but I hate them exams. They make me feel sick to the core! Don't see any purpose in them... I would have less stress in my learning journey if not for these tests upon us. I might continue ranting if not for the fact that I'm sleepy already. Night ^^
You know you've found the one when whatever he/she says, impacts you a lot. A small comment that makes you want to change your whole self , to make yourself better, for him/her.
Had another beautiful dream which inspired me :)
"In life, we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love." (Diego Marchi)
"It seemed I was a mite of sediment That waited for the bottom to ferment So I could catch a bubble in a-scent. I rode up on one til the bubble burst. And when that left me to sink back reversed I was no worse off than I was at first. I'd catch another bubble if I waited. The thing was to get now and then elated." (Robert Frost)
School's been draggy, boring and meaningless as usual. If it weren't for the few crazy people to get me through it, I think I might just die in class. Dead from the lost value in life. Projects are meddlesome, they intertwine themselves around your brain and pops up frequently, even in your sleep. I would kill for a vacation right now~
And I wish my best friend best of luck, in her search for a non-exixstant place where she can just float away, free from all her troubles :)
Ryan asked what I was doing and I said, "God help me, I think I'm going to play Marilyn Monroe." And he was more excited than I was. He's an unsettlingly perceptive person, Ryan. Sometimes you don't want to be too close to him because he sees so much it's uncomfortable. He said to me, "It's so cool, the greatest sex symbol of all time being played by you, who has never wanted to trade on any kind of sex appeal or beauty whatsoever. That's why you should really do it." It warmed my heart. I thought, "You really see me. You really notice what I'm trying to do." (Michelle Williams on Ryan Gosling)
It'll be great to have such a brother or friend :) Someone who sees through you, and understands. Ryan Gosling will be such a fun and cool brother :D
"Awards are for your mom. And my mom deserves it. 'Cause I was a little jerk and anyone will tell you that."
Bet everyone out there's celebrating somewhere... For me, it's just another long, draggy year *_* Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR all the same! :D
Hmm... ONE of my new year resolution is to spend more family time with my family and relatives. And THE SECOND, is to gain some surprises or unprecedented situations to spice up my life ;) Can't wait for when I'm out of school~ I'm going to pack my holidays (when away from work) with exhilarating adventures; LEAD A FULFILLING LIFE! And my THIRD resolution, would be to enjoy the remaining school days I have with my awesome clique. ♥
