someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. this too, was a gift. i want all of you.

NEW WEST - KIDS WHO STOLE THE WORLD

Recent upbeat song on repeat, which the lyrics revolves around the criminal couple, bonnie and clyde. Hence, my inspiration for this playlist. Realised how I've been listening to songs from this band New West these days. This song, "Kids who stole the world", kind of reminds me of Oasis and Robbie Williams(?)

Feeling burned out... need more outings or interactions with others. Maybe a game of basketball with the cousins, or movie dates with friends, anything v_v Used to love my alone time, but recently feeling a bit devoid of emotions(?) And too much burying of negative emotions, stress from work, responsibilities, and etc...

Been watching snippets of game segments from Jimmy Fallon's Late Night show, which got me laughing a bit more. I find the different guests and their reactions during the games so interesting. I think I've always been curious about people, social interactions (sociology), history, outerspace, scientific theories and the unknown. It's conflicting, my introverted self, and my thirst for knowledge.

Recently, John Cena (ex-WWE wrestler, whom I find quite insightful and open to new ideas, like how he became a fan of Kpop all that) quoted a phrase from The Outsiders, "Stay gold, ponyboy". Memories of lit lessons, the emotions felt while reading the book, and the grainy movie which our literature teacher showed us in class, all flooded back to me. It really left an impression, the characters, their struggles in the cold, prejudiced society, and their brotherhood.

I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings, you can only choose to accept them or walk away

Friday
Headed to the kiddos' house to celebrate Jared's birthday. Had hotpot, some wine, and played lots with the kids. Hide and seek, riddles, watched "Luca", and watching them play nintedo switch X) Didn't join in cause I was catching up with my sis. Finally ended the night with cake cutting. Missed them so much, especially not being able to see them so often due to the current situation. And whenever they visted my parents at home, I would be at work.

Jared seemed so happy, smiling innocently throughout the night, the usually mature and sensible older brother he is. Jairus being as cheeky and hyper as usual (my partner-in-crime), and Javier being a sweetheart, talking lots more than usual and sitting on my lap throughout the movie.

Sunday
Skipped the invite to my cousin's place on Saturday, a bit regretful as I saw that they spent their night playing chinese chess X) I ain't good at it, but it seemed fun. Been a long time since I caught up with them too :| As for Sunday, drove my mom to Pasir Ris farmway to buy plants. Though we arrived at some fishing quarry... The nursery only occupied a small area of the property, and after feeding the mosquitoes at the nursery for some time, I made my way to the fishing quarry, found myself a spot, and watched pepople fishing.

Though it was a hot and humid day, being away from the hustle and bustle, at such an ulu place... it actually felt good and relaxing. Fishing is also on my bucket list, one of the activities I would like to experience :) My bucket list... which has been thwarted due to covid. These days, have been cooped up at home :( Need more activites and meet ups, aside from MT :)

fall for someone who makes you love yourself a bit more

One day, you will meet this person - this incredible human who will treat you with so much love and respect that you won't know what to do with it. One day, a beautiful person with soft eyes will gaze at you steadily and you will forget all the reasons why you were scared to trust them. You will forget the hurt, the anxiety and the confusion that love has caused you in the past and you will just trust this process. You will realise that the someone can enter your life at the most unexpected time and despite telling yourself that you won't let love in again - you welcome it with open arms. You will learn that some people are good for your heart and gentle to your soul. Some people delve into your life with an infectious laughter and bring with them the kind of sunlight that you never want to lose. One day, you will meet a kind soul who might not know too much about love or feelings, but they will know a lot about being tender and patient with those they care about, and it will be these traits that you will fall for. It will be their heart and their warm soul, a warmth that they don't even realise they have, that you will fall for. One day, you will come across this person and everything will finally fall into place.

-ruby dhal

I hope to meet someone like that, or to be such a person to someone :)

reflecting on everything all around me

Friday
Finally took leave today, cause weiqi has a block leave for the week and we planned to have one day full of activities. Headed to Bedok Mall at 10:30am for lunch at Sushiro (opens at 11am) :P Afterwhich, budd accompanied me to Haji Lane and Golden Mile to browse some gloves during the idle time we had before the movie showtime. So conflicted on which pair of gloves to get :B Stopped by to try Arabica, which we both thought, either we chose the wrong flavour, or the coffee was overhyped and overpriced :|

We then headed to Kallang Leisure Park's Filmgarde to watch Venom UvU Also realised that Eternals was now showing as well. Oh wells, choices. Shall watch that another day. And for the final activity, we headed to Kallang Wave Mall for a session of the YouthCreates Shredder Series (basically a crash course for skateboarding). We signed up for the level one session even though we had some practice sessions on our own prior to this.

Great session nonetheless! We revisted the basics, and learnt some new techniques: frontside and backside kickturns. After the one hour session, we had a 20 min badminton session cause the YouthCreates badminton booth approached us ^.^" We then explored the running tracks at the Outdoor Stadium and to our surprise & envy, we saw many people "surfboarding" on their skateboards/longboards.

We had dinner at Astons and ended the night finding a spot along the Outdoor Staduim (where many people were seated around), facing the CBD night lights. Bought some milk tea from Chi Cha San Chen and took turns to practice on weiqi's skateboard. Makes me wnna get a skateboard too, to start praticing the techniques we learnt. My penny board (which I bought years ago from Giant) is way too small to do any moves aside from just cruising.



The toxicity... the toxic behaviours that they are displaying u_u

He has been displaying signs of depression, due to the stress from his mom and brothers, as well as the betrayal he experienced 2 years ago. Nowadays, he seems to want to torment himself through drowning his sorrows and rejecting meals. Yet he doesn't realise that his ordeal is also causing those around him to suffer (due to worrying for him, and stressing over his health). And the fact that he doesn't heed the advice of those who truly care for him...

She, on the other hand, despite her care and concern for him, is becoming more demanding. She expects things to go her way, and takes for the granted the effort/things that others do for her. She sometimes vents her frustrations on others, when she feels lost at what she should do next. And she doesn't realise that she hurts others with her words.