BRUNO MAJOR - NOTHING
This playlist is very contradicting to today's post. But precisely, because I need some positive/self-love vibes.
03 December 2021
My post on 3rd Dec "Hehe, positive updates coming up. SO... he has made a huge improvement recently. Ever since we convinced him to visit this particular doctor, whom prescribed him medications for appetite and mood. He's been eating so much these days (since the second half of november), even going for night snacks and a cup of warm milo to end the night UvU He's also bent on quitting his cigarettes and alcohol (the cause of his declining vision) before his next birthday (his own goal) Kudos to him! And his positive change in attitude has only fueled our perserverance and support for him OvO"
07 December 2021
What I didn't know, was that the mental poison and toxins were slowly but surely injected into his thoughts for the past week... Negative things... He spent his whole day chatting to his mom and his toixic friends. Us upon returning home from work, he came to the dining room, drunk, and lashed out at us.
08-11 December 2021
He has been calling his fake friends to complain to them about us, his family. On top of that, his drunk antics whereby he shouts inaudible phrases and vulgarities. Backstory: So he was betrayed by someone he trusted a lot 3 years ago, and because of that incident, he has been chided and stressed out by his mom. But he respects his mom so much, as she is the matriarch of the family, that in his head, he spun a story about how his wife and children are the ones stressing him out. The upgrade to a bigger house did add to that conclusion.
12 December 2021
I can't stand it any longer, for the whole night he was drunk shouting in his sleep. In the morning, I could hear him bad-mouthing the family to his toxic friends, who encourages him to make the worst decisions: divorcing, splitting the sales of the current house, get a mistress and migrate to thailand/vietnam. What kind of friends does this?! He also claimed he saw a female ghost the night before and was frantically shouting while on the phone with his mom. This scared her, and she asked that we send him over to her place for a few days, to avoid the "ghost" and for him to recuperate (hopefully free of alcohol).
Not sure if we did the right thing... Of the two bads; her and his brother, or his friends. At that point, I was just so disappointed in him already... Although he was hardly around while growing up (due to his work), I respected him a lot for his upright character and the love I thought he had for his family. But for him to think so badly of his wife and his children... when the ones in need of borrowing money (his friends) or eyeing his savings (...) Also, some of the revelations of his private life during his overseas trips with his friends...
After this recent drama, I could tell that my siblings and I are fatigued, exhausted. My mom was always the one whom held on, for him, for us, despite the strain in their relationship. For the past 2 years, where we have been listening to his drunk talks and trying to encourage him to no avail. Til recently, when we thought he finally was determined to recuperate his health and look forward in life...
Over the weekends, I realised how this incident have impacted my mental state as well... Just months back, I held on to this hope, for a better future, that I would find someone who understands me and we could build something together... But am I worthy of it, if my surrounding was this complicated, and part of my responsibility, how would I ever break free. My siblings have slowly moved out of the home, sisters married off, brother currently looking for a home with his wife, where eventually I would be the only left to take care of my parents (?)My post on 3rd Dec "Hehe, positive updates coming up. SO... he has made a huge improvement recently. Ever since we convinced him to visit this particular doctor, whom prescribed him medications for appetite and mood. He's been eating so much these days (since the second half of november), even going for night snacks and a cup of warm milo to end the night UvU He's also bent on quitting his cigarettes and alcohol (the cause of his declining vision) before his next birthday (his own goal) Kudos to him! And his positive change in attitude has only fueled our perserverance and support for him OvO"
07 December 2021
What I didn't know, was that the mental poison and toxins were slowly but surely injected into his thoughts for the past week... Negative things... He spent his whole day chatting to his mom and his toixic friends. Us upon returning home from work, he came to the dining room, drunk, and lashed out at us.
08-11 December 2021
He has been calling his fake friends to complain to them about us, his family. On top of that, his drunk antics whereby he shouts inaudible phrases and vulgarities. Backstory: So he was betrayed by someone he trusted a lot 3 years ago, and because of that incident, he has been chided and stressed out by his mom. But he respects his mom so much, as she is the matriarch of the family, that in his head, he spun a story about how his wife and children are the ones stressing him out. The upgrade to a bigger house did add to that conclusion.
12 December 2021
I can't stand it any longer, for the whole night he was drunk shouting in his sleep. In the morning, I could hear him bad-mouthing the family to his toxic friends, who encourages him to make the worst decisions: divorcing, splitting the sales of the current house, get a mistress and migrate to thailand/vietnam. What kind of friends does this?! He also claimed he saw a female ghost the night before and was frantically shouting while on the phone with his mom. This scared her, and she asked that we send him over to her place for a few days, to avoid the "ghost" and for him to recuperate (hopefully free of alcohol).
Not sure if we did the right thing... Of the two bads; her and his brother, or his friends. At that point, I was just so disappointed in him already... Although he was hardly around while growing up (due to his work), I respected him a lot for his upright character and the love I thought he had for his family. But for him to think so badly of his wife and his children... when the ones in need of borrowing money (his friends) or eyeing his savings (...) Also, some of the revelations of his private life during his overseas trips with his friends...
After this recent drama, I could tell that my siblings and I are fatigued, exhausted. My mom was always the one whom held on, for him, for us, despite the strain in their relationship. For the past 2 years, where we have been listening to his drunk talks and trying to encourage him to no avail. Til recently, when we thought he finally was determined to recuperate his health and look forward in life...
My dream persists... I would love to travel the world, maybe in future when on honeymoon... -ᴗ-
